End of Summer 23’ Wellness Takeaways By: Crystal Harbans, Urban Eco-Woman
Sun-kissed and content, I’m in my ‘moment to moment’ era, and heavy on the little things. This summer has been one of my happiest, yet by far the simplest. Perhaps Jorja’s summer drop ‘little things’ set the tone for my summer. So as summer 23’ wraps up, here are a few takeaways that you can implement now or with your pumpkin spice (everything)!
Moment to moment living has profoundly impacted my mental wellness. Capitalism has an insidious way of always making us feel the need to be constantly productive, competitive, material driven, and always planning ahead. This 'future-based neurosis' is preventing us from enjoying every single second of our lives. This summer I found myself overjoyed to admire and smell flowers along my walk, excited over getting a great night's sleep, relishing in the glorious morning sun, amped to put together new outfits from my current wardrobe (because 2.2 billion tons of greenhouse gas emissions are created by the fashion industry yearly, wtf!), and learning how to ride out negative waves. Overall, one of my biggest emotional wellness takeaways of the summer has been to accept that it’s ok not to be happy all the time.
Boundary Setting + Self-Care: Understanding that these two concepts are interrelated was a game-changer. Instead of letting things slide this summer, I decided to take a break and then come back to the table. Instead of reacting in the moment, which is my usual pattern, I decided to remove myself from the situation (physically – so important) and once I achieved clarity (which sometimes took a few days to weeks) I reconnected to communicate my feelings. In doing so, I have been able to effectively communicate and set clear boundaries. Thus, decreasing feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment, and increasing feelings of peacefulness and happiness which results in healthier relationships. Consider adding emotional wellness practices such as boundary setting to your self-care routine asap.
Community Building: I used to think community building only meant organizing and advocating for major societal changes. Though this definition is accurate, this summer I engaged in a different kind of community building that included lots of poodles! I joined a community of doggy moms in my neighborhood - women from all walks of life who care deeply about their fur babies. Most mornings this summer, we showed up for each other, enjoying our puppies socializing time, while simultaneously building new friendships. On my worst days I walk out of the park feeling uplifted and optimistic.
Embracing Softness: My main ideological framework is feminism, which is synonymous with being strong, independent, confident, and fearless. Although I strive to embody many of those characteristics, this summer I also gave myself the space to be vulnerable, delicate, uncertain and in need of support. Living in a racialized, patriarchal society, being a WOC makes it incredibly difficult to embrace softness, as we are faced with jarring political consequences on the daily. If it’s not literally watching our back as soon as it gets dark outside (which all female identifying people can relate to) or being profiled while shopping (even if we are wearing Gucci handbags), or always being the only POC at events in our industry or being passed up for career accelerating opportunities. Finally, when we speak up for ourselves, we are faced with the ‘playing the race card’ narrative.
To conclude, this summer I created a safe space within my mind to be gentle with myself and to remind myself of systemic factors that contribute to my stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. Warriors need hugs, sound advice, shoulder(s) to cry on and non-judgemental ears to confide in. We can’t do it all by ourselves!